“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe
I’m that annoying person that loves all the quotes because they’ve been relevant for me when something “fell apart”. I had no choice but to reach outside of my comfort zone to see what was going to “fall together”.
If things hadn’t “fallen apart,” I wouldn’t have discovered the amazing skills that now make my life considerably better, like therapy, meditation, adequate sleep, writing, and more. While I don’t wish for more challenges, I’m grateful that I chose to focus on improving my mind, body, and soul instead of seeking validation from others. I had no idea how much validation I was pulling from other people to create that positive environment for myself. Looking back at it all today, it was really jarring!
Frankly, I’m a little embarrassed that I lived that way for so long and thankful I get validation from myself and my practices. Don’t get me wrong. I like getting validation, but I don’t NEED it anymore. I don’t get the weird high I used to when someone would recognize my work, compliment me, or say they like my writing.
This topic has been on my mind lately because I’ve had amazing conversations with many people. We’ve discussed how healing after hardship has led to personal growth that we didn’t even know we needed until things “fell apart.”
When we get so comfortable in our situation, no matter how bad we feel, it’s hard to let go of the familiarity of the day in / day out routine, even though it may be toxic! We have this sense of contentment – maybe satisfaction – with our current situation and have little to no motivation to change or improve.
I hate to say it, but I’m grateful that my situations were so bad that I had no choice but to change. My body was screaming at me, and I could no longer ignore it. I jumped out of my comfort zone and was pleasantly surprised by the beauty right in front of me. Since I’ve enjoyed this transformation so much, I can’t help but want the same for everyone.
Of course, I don’t want anything to fall apart for anyone. However, if you find yourself in that situation and want a different perspective, or if life is pretty good but you want to feel even better, here is a list of self-care opportunities. I’ve tried all of these, and many have become part of my daily, weekly, or monthly routine.
{IMPORTANT} These are not luxury activities because your mental health is extremely important, and you are worth it! Here is what I learned about self-care when I was single.
20 self-care practices that enhance your way of life:
- Seek Professional Help: Okay, this needs to be at the top of the list because we don’t know what we don’t know. We need some outside perspective from a licensed professional. Working with someone who is dedicated to improving your well-being can open doors and present you with insight. As long as you do your homework, this effort will produce significant rewards. Ask me how I know!
- Practice Gratitude: Start your day by writing things you’re thankful for. This practice reminds you of how far you’ve come and keeps all your blessings top of mind.
- Meditate: Spend a few minutes each day in meditation to calm your mind. This has been a game-changer because my mind was a mean little gremlin!
- Exercise Regularly: Any physical activity you enjoy is worthwhile, even if it’s walking or yoga or dancing.
- Get Enough Sleep: I get this isn’t always achievable but aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. Even more important is to go to bed around the same time every night and wake up at the same time. Trust me on this one because you will see a big difference in the way you feel.
- Eat Healthily/Mindful Eating: Discover foods that not only taste amazing but also cultivate positive energy. An added bonus is eating mindfully, without distractions, and savoring each bite. Studies suggest that this mindful approach can help you avoid overeating and fully appreciate the meal in front of you.
- Stay Hydrated: Be intentional about drinking plenty of water throughout the day.
- Set Goals: Goals keep us engaged with life and we learn new things about ourselves too! Define clear, achievable goals for your personal and professional life.
- Declutter: Organize your living and working spaces to reduce stress. This is essential for a peaceful life because your home is your sanctuary. If you don’t feel good in your own home, start making small changes each week. Even if you think you feel just fine in your home, reduce the clutter anyway. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes!
- Learn Something New: Pick up a new hobby or skill to keep your mind engaged. This is just super fun and why not have some fun!
- Connect with Loved Ones: Spend quality time with family and friends that light you up, charge your battery, and that make you feel so energized! These groups of people are known as Treadmill Friends.
- Limit Screen Time: Reduce the time spent on phones, computers, and TV.
- Practice Mindfulness: Be present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings. Practice a body scan meditation and notice where your body needs some extra TLC.
- Read Books: Choose books that inspire, educate, or entertain you. Books open your mind to new possibilities, skills, and imaginative worlds that enlighten and enrich your life. Shoutout to all the audiobooks, too!
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences regularly to document your life and gain deeper self-awareness. Journaling is an excellent way to express anger or frustration in a constructive manner, preventing outbursts at others. It also helps you unload all the thoughts and to-do lists swirling in your mind, allowing you to clear your head and find mental clarity.
- Take Breaks: Allow yourself short breaks throughout the day to recharge. Get up, stretch, and walk around.
- Practice Positive Affirmations: Repeat uplifting statements to yourself daily. This practice is one of my favorites, especially from when I began my self-love journey. Over time, my mind and body started to truly believe in these affirmations.
- Spa Day: Draw a bath with candles, get a massage, or mani/pedi. This slows you down and feels good to relax and feel great during and after.
- Volunteer: Give your time to causes you care about to gain a sense of purpose and a new perspective.
- Laugh More: Find humor in everyday situations and enjoy life’s lighter moments. Spend time with people that make you laugh and that laugh with you.
In Conclusion,
At any moment, we can switch up our routine to create an environment that feels good to us. For me, divorce and financial hardship were the catalysts that set me on the path toward creating a beautiful life.
A beautiful life is a journey, not a destination. It is filled with many paths and small steps that lead to great rewards.
Roar on, my friends!
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