A few years after my second divorce, I decided it was time to stop feeling bitter and sorry for myself and to focus on remembering the positive aspects of the relationship.
Keep in mind, I am very stubborn, and I wanted to be angry forever but the only person it was hurting was me.
I put together a list of what is true (negative) and what is also true (positive) because both can be true at the same time. Since I choose optimism, here’s what I’ve come up with, and I’m sure it will resonate with you.
Here you go…
What is true?
I’ve been married and divorced twice.
What is also true?
I don’t have to carry around the shame.
I don’t have to feel small when I say that I’m a divorced woman.
I do need to listen to other women going through the same thing with an open heart.
I don’t need to tell her how bad I had it and diminish her experience.
What is true?
Good and bad experiences came from my marriages and divorces.
What is also true?
I processed both experiences and released what didn’t feel good. I’m thankful for the positive aspects that have helped me today.
What is true?
I feel like I’m a failure, and therefore, I believe I won’t have a fulfilling life.
What is also true? (negative)
My feelings are temporary and if I continue to think about my so-called failure, I might have an unfulfilling life.
What is also true? (positive)
My feelings are temporary, and they motivate me to step out of my comfort zone and do something I love. I will take small actions each day to create a fulfilling life.
I encourage you to:
Write down a list of what is true with another list of what is helping you move forward.
Motivational Speech!
Girl! You are no longer the same person you were when you got married; you are a new version who recognizes her worth and refuses to back down.
This version knows more now, you have more life experience, and you are wiser. Let this version of yourself continue to grow.
Allow this version of yourself to cry, feel, get angry, and then rise up to show what you’re made of!
Rise from the ashes stronger, and have compassion for the version of yourself that no longer exists, because she needed you then, and you need yourself now.
When you torture yourself in your mind, it affects YOU, and not your EX.
Show them what a force you are by being the best version of yourself. If you want revenge, be the version of yourself you were never allowed to be while in that relationship!
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