I’ve labeled myself the “nice girl” because I truly care about everyone, even when they’ve hurt me. I’m easy going, calm, fun, happy, and a cheerleader most of the time. So, when negative emotions come to the surface it’s a little jarring. I then think to myself, where did this come from?
From the beginning, I’ve been a people pleaser. The law of attraction was not working in my favor because I was feeling all of these emotions and putting out those same vibes into the universe. Here are a few of the issues I had to face:
- Unresolved childhood trauma
- Religious trauma
- Unhealthy relationships
- Narcissist magnet
- Scarcity mindset
- Constant state of fear
I used to push my emotions way down and forget about them until they came back a little stronger each time. Eventually, my anxiety was unbearable and that led me to seek professional help.
None of this was serving me and I was done with a capital D!
I regularly see a therapist and we talk through my struggles and rejoice in my triumphs. I also had a session with a local Shaman for energy healing. She removed the dense energy I was harboring and I felt a huge weight lifted. Both lovely women helped me to address my feelings and allowed them to flow through and out.
Now when I have negative thoughts and feelings, I will sit with them, feel them, and allow them to pass through me. It’s an amazing feeling and very empowering because YOU are in charge, not your feelings and definitely not other people’s opinions.
Here are some tips for moving forward in your journey that I have found to be useful.
Don’t allow negative feelings to rule you
I don’t allow myself to sit with my negative feelings for too long, but I do allow them to be there until it’s time to evict them. I can be a “nice girl” and have negative thoughts, anxiety, sadness, grief, pain, and heartache. The key is to feel them and let them go. Cry, scream, hit the wall, or whatever you need to do and then release. Not releasing them can cause relationship issues, health issues, loneliness, and mental health problems. There were a few times my anger was unleashed and I had no idea where it came from. Because I didn’t allow my feelings to fully pass through me, they found their own way out. I am not proud of the way I handled those situations and the words I spoke. The people around me got hurt because of it.
Protect your peace
I protect my peace at all costs. I was tired of feeling anxiety 24/7 and had enough! It’s been a journey but a more peaceful one. I purged some people, distanced myself from others, and I don’t allow negative people within my circle. Since my mental health was poor for so long, I unintentionally pushed people away that I wanted to keep close. Thankfully, I’ve since restored those relationships and I am fortunate I didn’t lose them for good.
Realize that it’s a journey, not a destination
Once I truly started my healing journey, it was two steps forward and one step back. But that’s okay because it’s a process. I fell HARD a few times and needed some help but I always landed on my feet and kept walking in the direction I wanted to go.
Now that I realize it’s a journey and not about getting to the destination, I’m more at ease and present. I value the hours in my day and so many beautiful conversations. I cherish moments with my love, spend time with my fur babies, read a good book, and, of course, write!
I am no longer going to keep my feelings bottled up and will let them flow. I refuse to live an anxiety-ridden life and only want what serves me. That is my mission for the time I have left on earth. I hope you do the same in your own healthy way. Now Roar!