I had a conversation with a friend and she expressed to me how tired she was of allowing her past to dictate her present and future. I listened to her concerns and how she doesn’t want her kids to live life the way she was and feel what she felt in this moment and moments in the past. She says “I guess this is what I am destined for and how life will always be.”
What struck me is that she felt as if she and her family were sentenced to a life of her past. A life that states, “Is this all there is?” The good news is we are NOT sentenced to anything!
If you feel as if you are broken, bruised, used, never going to change, depressed, unhappy, stuck in a cycle of generational conditioning. Let me tell you a secret.
IT STARTS WITH YOU!
If you don’t like the situation you are in or how you feel, CHANGE IT!
All of us are authentic and have past’s that haunt us and resurface BUT that is NOT who you are today.
As of today, my beautiful friend has decided to live a life SHE is designing and a future SHE is creating.
How cool is it to be the leader, to stand up for what is true and real, and to fight for the ones that are down and lift them up?
Where do you even start? What are the steps to a future that makes you smile?
These are the steps to take:
Decide. Make the decision you are going to change. Decide to focus on the positive things in your life and not the negative. Our minds will focus on what we allow it to.
Visualize. Focus on the future! Visualize yourself living a happy and loving life. What defines happiness for you? *write down what a meaningful life means to you.
Believe. You must believe you can make it happen and put forth the effort to make those small steps towards a better life. A life that makes you proud for generations to come.
Affirmations. Write down three misbelieves you tell yourself. A misbelief is a lie you tell yourself that is keeping you from getting out of the state you are in and holding you back. Common misbelieves are:
I am not smart enough.
I am too old or young.
I was told this as a child, so it must be true.
Everybody is lying to me because they don’t want to hurt my feelings.
Now write down how it is affecting your life?
How has it affected your life in the past?
Write down what the truth is and now you have your affirmation that you will tell yourself daily and probably several times a day. When a negative thought enters your mind, replace it with the truth. As time goes on your brain will start to believe you and you will see a dramatic difference in your daily life and relationships.
Be Grateful. If we live in the past, that prevents us from living in the present and seeing how much we are blessed currently. By not being grateful for what we have now, prohibits us from moving forward. I suggest keeping a gratitude journal in order to be grateful for what you have now and the little things in life. It can be as small as “I am grateful a stranger smiled at me.” It can also be, “I am grateful for another day to make a difference in someone’s life.” click on the underlined word gratitude in the paragraph to view a short video.
Focus on what you are grateful for every day.
Love. Love the people around you and know they have struggles too. Do not enable them, rather love and encourage. Show by example the life you are choosing to live and after a while, it will be noticed.
Repeat Daily. This change in state and lifestyle takes practice and over time it will manifest in your life. You are authentic and beautiful!
Here is a recap to live an authentic, loving, and fulfilling life.
#1. Decide #2. Visualize #3. Believe #4. Affirmations #5. Be Grateful #6. Love #7. Repeat Daily.
As Tony Robbins says :
“We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.”
I’d love to hear what you have done to improve your life. Please comment below.
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While I’ve done my own version of every one of these things, I will say the single most important thing I did to finally get my footing was to grow older. 🙂
While you’re waiting for that to happen, here are a few other tips.
1. I love the suggestion to let go of the “lies” that you tell yourself. That’s a task and one you upon which you will need to constantly work. I would also suggest that some unpleasant things you believe about yourself are actually true. Perhaps there are some things that need work that you aren’t aware of quite yet. While you’re working to let go of the lies, also work on taking ownership of the things that really do need improvement. Maybe you aren’t as kind as you could be, or you’re quick to judge others for their circumstances, or you’re overweight, or you have a substance abuse problem (which can include sugar lest you decide that you’re safe because you don’t drink or do drugs!). Work on that.
2. Find your happy place. It’s a cliche but it’s so helpful. My happy place is anywhere out in nature. It might be a forest, a prairie, a river, or just about anything outside by myself or with a small group of my closest people. Yours could be anything. Be aware of how you feel when you go about your day. When you encounter a place or situation that brings you peace, work towards getting more of that in your life. It will pay dividends.
3. Let go of the things that don’t bring you joy and happiness. This can be things or clutter or loose ends. Sadly, it might also be people, relationships, hobbies, situations, maybe even a job. Start to realize that keeping burdens in your life comes at a cost to your own fulfillment. Let them go whenever possible as painful as it might be.
4. Work on developing good habits. Refer to the areas where you need improvement and start small to make incremental changes. Once established, habits (even good ones!) have a way of asserting themselves in your life and demanding to be undertaken!
5. Identify those who are most important in your life and consciously nurture a relationship with them. Distance yourself from those who make you stressed or anxious or unhappy (as sad as it might be). Develop a plan to honor those connections and work on keeping them alive. Don’t concern yourself with announcing this or even discussing it. Just do it. If they don’t reciprocate and it bothers you, refer to tip #3. You don’t have to make a big announcement that you’re doing this. Just choose what is best for you. This puts you in control over your own happiness and works to attract others who are like you.
6. All of this leads up to learning to love yourself and enjoy your own company. There are times when you will need to seek solace in the one person upon which you can depend: yourself.
There is more, I’m sure, but I have to do some work. It turns out that money, while not buying happiness, allows me to live a life that I love. 😉